“Ungh”
That was the only word I could
utter after the bluntness of the bat had made contact with the back of my head.
I could not remember what exactly had happened, at least on the first attempt.
I also could not realize for a long time where I was, or what I was doing. What
I was supposed to do? Was I even alive? Am I in a limbo? Would this be forever?
I sub consciously tried to move my
right arm, but it didn’t want to follow my command. I could feel the shaky
movements of my arm when it made random contact with the ice cold floor. it
moved to its own beat, and that music was non diegetic to my brain. It was like
a fish, flopping around on the floor, relentlessly trying to find its source of
life. In this case, me.
Like a character out of shounen
manga, I gathered my willpower and moved one finger at a time. All the while my
mouth didn’t stop bleating in pain. the mixed noises of shrieks and grunts
sounded utterly unpleasant.
After gathering the strength in
all my five fingers and arm, I touched the area of impact. Strong in richness,
and thick to touch, my blood oozed out of my skull like water from broken
faucet. My senses were still trying to locate my eyes, and the only sense
working right now was the sense of touch. I used it to reintroduce myself to my
body. The first instrument I wanted to use was my eyes. Next up was my brain. I
moved my arm once more and touched the tip of my nose. The rest was easy. all I
had to do was open my eyes and see the four fingers I was holding up. I
struggled to move my head in the desirable position and opened my eyes.
Nothing. I could see nothing. As
if someone replaced my irises with black paper. Suddenly my heart started
sinking. I was laying on the icy floor, with blood spilling out of my head. The
other side of me really hurt. As if it was struck with cinder blocks. There was
no voice to be heard, no footsteps going to and from me. There was no vision in
my head. It was as if I had stepped into a pitch black abyss.
My breathing skyrocketed. The
dread of the worst possibility seemed very tangible. I was vulnerable without
my sight, and being situated where there was no other person to be found was
alarming to say the least.
I started stretching my
arms as far away as I could, just so I could hang on to something in case the
worst happened. Without caring about my surroundings, I patted my surroundings
and eventually my hands landed on a shaft like object. It was light in weight
and had a grip to prevent it from slipping. I put my left hand around it and
used it to push myself away from the ground. It was not difficult for me to do
so, but the legs which had become noodles really put up a fight against me.
After I was able to stand up on my own two legs, I gripped the wooden baseball
bat that had acted as my crutch with both of my hands. I raised it behind my
right shoulder, ready to swing at anyone or anything that came near me. What I
didn’t realize that it was the same bat that was dripping my blood from its
end.
I tapped on the right
side, the intact side, of my face. The attempt to gain back my visibility,
however partial, would have been great. I flinched my eyes couple of more times
and from the corner of my right eye something caught my attention. It was an
assortment of green and blue jewels. After a little concentration, it came back
to me that I was standing next to a bar, and the green and blue jewels were
bottles of whiskey, reflecting the room’s light.
With a little light
passing through one of my eyes, I started swinging my head from side to side. I
wanted to rattle my brain to restore my saved memories. While swaying my head
furiously, I caught glimpses of my surroundings. A round bed covered with metal
and leather instruments, an open doorway that preceded a long hallway. I opened
my right eye with all my might and my brain started making sense of black plastic
phallic object I was looking in front of me. A dildo. A long one at that. with
leather straps on its ends. A Strap-On. An acquired taste.
I switched my vision from
sex toys littered bed to the empty hallway. Silence was all around me. I
gripped my hand across the bat and started limping towards the hall. It was a
short walk from the room to the staircase. Just one right turn two hundred
metres away gave a flight of stairs that landed in the middle of a giant
dimly-lit room. I put my hand on the railing and carefully stepped down. It was
a chore to walk with entire body in shambles, but I made it work. The bat
became a well suited crutch.
After a walk down that
felt lasted for eternity, I was on ground floor. after spotting another
hallway, this time illuminated with black light and red LEDs, I decided to head
towards it. As I walked away from the damned place, I heard faint footsteps
coming my way. I looked behind me, and it was a maid standing behind me. I
recognized her instantly. She was Amaan’s personal assistant before I came
along.
She stood there in front
of me in silence. That’s when I heard another set of footsteps leading towards
us. From behind the maid’s shoulder I could see Amaan. she was wearing all
black and her heals pierced the silence every time she took a step forward. I
let out a sigh of relief and smiled at the sight of her. but it only lasted for
a moment as a pang of pain struck me into my head out of nowhere, leaving me
weak in my knees.
I dropped the wooden bat
and crumbled on the floor like Jenga blocks. I put my hands on my head and
squeezed really hard. A fear flushed into my head that it was about to explode,
and I needed to contain it. The grunts got louder and louder as Amaan stepped
in my direction. The loud *tuck* sounds produced by her heels were reminiscent
of long nails getting hammered straight into my brain. At last the grunts could
not contain my pain and a loud shriek slipped through my lips. I filled the
empty room with a sharp scream. In the meantime I turned my hands into claws
and attempted to dig deep into my own skull. The pressure on the head as well
as the pain in my body culminated into a wail that even paused Amaan from heading
towards me.
I gritted my teeth and tried
to contain all the pain that suddenly crowded in my hippocampus. The blood
stained bat, variety of sex toys, leather clad Amaan and the smile that was
more coy than welcome made me realize everything that had happened to me. With
the limited distance between us, the dread of getting battered to death was
heavy.
The maid came near me, and
I only realized it after she shoved me back first into the bar, knocking the
bar stools down. With a gasp, I clutched my back as a reflex and laid against
the bar. As I opened my eye, I saw the maid retracting and putting a bar stool
in front of me. Shifting my vision, I saw Amaan sitting in front of. She leaned
a little and lifted her right leg. Her red stiletto hung in the air next to my
ear. It was a unique stabbing instrument to say the least.
In a quick motion she put
her other foot on my crotch. And when I bent down to see what was squeezing my
vagina, she put the heel on my lips and forced its way through my teeth. I was
in a very dangerous situation.
I could feel my tongue
right below the thin heel, which was still on standby. It was not piercing my
throat at the moment, and I couldn’t ask for more.
“I have some desires. And
they are monumental in size. But trust me, you will like them once you get used
to it. But I do believe that you still don’t know much about me. So I will give
you four questions to ask me.”
I gulped. After overpowering
me, she was giving me an info dump. I could not believe how much self absorbed
would you have to be to become such egotistical individual. But that also meant
I was alive longer. I weighed the options and chose to ask those four questions.
“Pleaz takke za heel outh.”
I mumbled.
She obliged and took the
damned footwear out of my mouth. I immediately closed it and lathered my dry
mouth with spin. Gulping once more, I racked my brain for those questions.
“Amaan, do you like
dominating people?”
Amaan heard the question
and chuckled.
“Yes. I do. I have done it
forever now. I did it with my husband. I do it with people who pay me. I do it
to have an upper hand.”
“What? I thought you were
oppressed in Saudi Arabia. That was also due to your husband.”
“Did I? Well, I might
as well tell you how I got started. I was married to a simpleton. And to
convince him about women status in orthodox country like Saudi Arabia was not
normal was hard. He hit me. He abused me. Sometimes, he’d also rape me. You know,
marital rape. But what I didn’t know was that I was a masochist. And getting
raped was the only time I could cum. So I pushed all my husband’s buttons everyday.
So much so that he’d be forced to rape me every time we had sex. After some
time, he got annoyed and let his friends or colleagues or bosses rape me. I was
in heaven. Different sizes and different techniques of sex, all week long.”
Amaan took a
pause. She looked at my disgusted and surprised face. She gave me a coy smile
and continued,” That made a strong case of my husband’s oppression on me and a
guy named Donald helped me skip the country. The first stop was Nepal, but I didn’t
settle down here immediately. I went to Amsterdam, Mississippi, Cuba, Vietnam,
Egypt and Ghana. All these places taught me the pleasures of getting dominated
and dominating my partners. And it was in Ghana when I discovered I was
bisexual. You don’t know what kinds of pleasure a well endowed black woman
bring to your body. Anyway, I came back here, managed to trick the dean of
Jazeera and secured a permanent teaching position.”
I had covered my
mouth with my hand in order to contain my vomit inside. The individual in front
of me was damned. She was rotten. She was evil.
But, was she
really? Wasn’t she doing everything I wanted to do? No reigns? No limitations? What
was she?
So I asked her.
“What are you?”
Amaan broke down
laughing at my question. I sat there with a blank look in my eyes. My heart
housed only one thing: curiosity. I wanted to escape. I wanted to run away from
her. but I wanted to learn from her. she had been playing me, playing a lot of people.
I wanted to learn the art of deceit. No. I wanted to learn the art of degeneracy.
“I am omnipotent
being, my dear Madonna. I am the one who holds the power to my dreams. I do not
dream fantasies. I become one with my dreams and reality. I am the one who
holds the power to dream big. and my dreams are my desires. The one individual
who has full control on her desires is me.”
She sounded like a
preacher to me. She was saying all those big things, that I almost got motivated
by her bullshit. She spoke with such elegance that she’d put any politician to
shame.
I was seeing her basking
into her own glory. I totally believed a halo would surround her if I looked at
her long enough. But I knew this was bad. I would give in and the lust of
desires, if fulfilled once, would ruin me. Failure and broken dreams are important
to make a human being. Omnipotence best suited cultists and gods.
With dirty conscience
and disillusioned direction of mind, I asked her my third question: What made you
do it to me?”
She looked back to
me like a butcher looks at his soon to be slain calf. Eyes all full of fake
sympathy, the soft cheeks and bright skin made my heart aflutter.
“Recreation.”
Huh, what did she
say? Recreation? Is that it?
“A human being is
made up of complex emotions and subtle nuances of intelligence and stupidity. To
break all of it down into simpler, understandable portions of emotions is what I
do. I have done it for years now. And you know the most impressive thing about
it? I have yet to be proven right. The motivations of a person varies from
like, lust, drive, devotion, and greed. But sometimes other scarce emotions like
sacrifice and courage do come around, making the whole game even more fun to
play.
You, Madonna, are the mix of latter two. You are born to sacrifice. It doesn’t
mean self sacrifice, and it also does mean that. the fact that you think you
have taken steps in your life to improve other human being’s life makes you
some sort of hero in your own eyes. But the lust of you getting understood from
the masses, getting an excuse for your actions is what makes you so much more
appealing.”
I gritted my teeth.
It was not at all true. It was not the case. At all. I did not look for
forgiveness or acceptance. I never once did so.
“How about it,
HitMaker?”
She Knew?!
“I talked to
someone very close to Priscilla. His name was Cline, I suppose. By any chance,
do you know him? What am I saying, you do right? You worked for Priscilla. you
worked with her. and then, you worked her. nice job. But I don’t understand one
thing, why did you give up your moniker. The one alias that made you famous?
HitMaker, it was a brand, and you gave it all away. You did it for Priscilla’s
sake, right? But, it can also be for yourself as much as it is for your rapper
girlfriend.”
“No-No-No, I didn’t…”
“You gave it away
because you wanted someone to narrate the truth after you were gone. You did it
because it was affiliated with you, and you didn’t want to let the hardwork associated
with that name to go to dirt. You wanted it to live, so that people like me can
know who the true HitMaker is. You wanted to be associated with your past
success so much, you made an incompetent producer the lead songwriter.”
Huh, what is
she saying? Is it true? Did I do it because I wanted to be HitMaker. Did I do
it because I didn’t want to let go of my past? Have I still not learned to move
on?
“As for why I did
to you, you are a chewtoy. I am a bitch, and you are my chewtoy I wanted to
play with you as much I wanted, and when you broke or tore, I wanted to get a
new one. Do you know who is best suited for that role? The one person who is
already broken. It really helped with your habit of sticking your nose in every
situation. All I had to do is sit back and watch you implode.”
Amaan stood up,
leaving me with the realization of my own ways. She walked behind the bar and
poured three drinks for us. She came back in front and extended the glass full
of thick golden liquid. I was in no place to resist. Alcohol seemed more of a solution,
the escape, than this conversation. I instigated this conversation so that I could
see what a piece of shit Amaan was. But the pointers she was bringing up was breaking
my spirit up. I brought the glass to my lips and filled my mouth with alcohol. It
was tasty.
I sipped away half
the glass and Amaan watched me. She was calmly sipping on her champagne, while
her maid had a glass full of whiskey in her hand like me.
“S-So, what else…”
I said, dazed off the liquor.
“when you came for
admission, I did see your then girlfriend, Blessing. I talked to her after you people
left. She is a nice woman. I guess, she was a nice woman. But yeah, when
she explained your situation, I took interest in you. You had that appeal that
these students did not. So I wanted you to live here, around me. You need to
understand that this game requires a lot of patience, and I am blessed with a
lot. So I took my sweet time with you two. The day you dashed into my office and
we had our seventy grade talk, was the day I drove my first nail into the
plank. I had to make you realize your potential of failure. Even if it didn’t matter
to you, I created a need of grade in your subconscious. That played out when
you realized the problems in your relationship. Which was: none. You see the problem
in a relationship is always subjective, and that is why I was able to play it
huge even when it was minuscule.
Then there was
that accidental touch, a home visit, a little bit of skin contact, that doubt
in your mind, and a need of support. All those things acted exactly as I planned.
And then, here we are.”
I took another
huge sip out of the glass and used my last question,” How did you know I would
act the way I did?”
Amaan came down to
one knee and touched her nose against mine. Then, she slowly spoke to me.
There are some
things you need not know, girl. All you need to know is that you are mine now. And
you will be very happy with me.
I put my arm
around Amaan as soon as I heard that. I pulled her against me. Our breasts
touched. I could feel the heat seeping from my body when I touched her.
I gulped the remainder
of my liquor. As the liquid went from my throat to my stomach, I could realize
how silent everything had become. Amaan was still in my arms. The maid was in
my blindspot. And the bat was mere metres away from me.
I turned my head
and whispered into Amaan’s ear.
THANKS FOR MY
SALVATION. THANKS FOR MAKING ME UNDERSTAND.
I gripped the
whiskey glass tightly and swung it against Amaan’s ear. A sudden crackling
noise broke the silence in the room.
I opened my eyes
as wide as I could and saw the maid ready to pounce on me. Her one had squeezed
her glass, the other one held a kitchen knife upside down. She was ready to slit
me in half. But her angry face against to wailing Amaan brought tears of
happiness into my eyes.
Like a fish out of
water, Amaan trembled in my arms she bled out of the side of her head. She was
trying to free herself out of my grasp, but I didn’t let go. Holding a broken piece
of glass on her nape, I had the maid at the distance. I wondered what kind of
face I made when I held this sadistic woman in my grasp.
I turned Amaan over
we rolled on the ground. All the while, amaan’s shrieks of pain felt soothing
to me.
We rolled and
reached right next to the baseball bat. Amaan was beginning to cry now.
Oh, how the
mighty have fallen, I thought to myself. I let go of her back and grabbed
her feet. With a quick motion, I switched my weapon and used my one eye to swing
the bat on one of Amaan’s feet.
Strike one!
Strike two!!
Strike three!!!
After swinging the
bat three times I saw the bloodied and broken foot of Amaan. it brought me happiness.
I checked on the maid, who had changed her color from raging red to raging
blue. It seemed like she would pop a vein any moment.
Keeping my sight
at the maid, I bent over to crying Amaan and spoke to her.
Hey Amaan, guess
what? Seems like I had a sadistic side to me after all. And guess again. I was
not the sacrifice this time. you were.
I said that and
enjoyed her wailing one last time before I rose to my feet and ran out of the
building.
After I exited the
main door, I dashed to my room. I knew that if the maid was going to follow me,
she’d look everywhere else, but she wont think of looking into the house. Placing
my bet on that hypothetical situation, I ran until I reached my room.
I shed all the blood
stained clothes and changed into a shirt and jeans. I packed all my essential
documents and a knife into a handbag. Then I went for my shoes but a knock on
my door made me skip a heartbeat. I looked through the hole. It was the cook. I
cracked open the door slightly and smiled at me. But he was not smiling.
“Forgive me,” he
said.
From his shoulder,
I saw a hand rising. That hand held-
-A gun.
The maid, from
behind the chef’s shoulder, fired a round from her handgun. The fear that
enveloped me in the moment made it impossible for me to move or dodge. I was
just lucky that her aim missed and the bullet passed from above me. My already tense
body tensed up even more. But it was the chef who came to my rescue. She held
the maid’s hand that she brandished the gun with and screamed at me to run
away. Before I could make sense of the situation, she told me to run away. And so
I did.
I ran.
I ran away.
Leaving the one
person who protected me.
The one human who
really came through for another person’s life.
I left that person
behind with possible death.
I gritted my teeth
and silently put one foot before another.
Would I ever find
peace? Would I ever find a moment to rest?
I saw a forest in
front of. A perfect situation to lose the maid. And a perfect chance to escape
and make a new life.
Shit, I’d have to
call Trigman and Mapalla once again.
Out of nowhere, I heard
the air getting sliced and something struck me out of nowhere. Was it a knife? A
rope?
A whip.
The whip cracked against
my waist and almost made me choke on my internal organs. I stumbled but somehow
kept my balance. The forest was ten steps away. I could escape.
I heard a whip
cracking behind me once again, and felt it coming in my direction. The fear and
dread flooded my head, but the motivation to escape this hell kept me going.
The whip struck me
high this time. it came from my underarm and wrapped my neck. For a moment, it
felt like getting squeezed by an anaconda. I was at a loss of air. A heavy cough
did throw me off my speed, but it was still not more than my desire to escape.
I turned around
for a second, and saw the maid following me. She was out for blood, and didn’t care
for how much I had already spilled.
I entered the forest,
thinking that trees and branches would save me. But the maid struck me on my
feet and made me fall face first onto the forest bed. it didn’t hurt much, but
what followed did.
The maid stood on
top of my body and whipped me relentlessly. The whip cracked numerous times against
my stomach, my breast, my legs and my abdomen. All the pain was numbing me. The
blood in my veins was going cold. At last, I could not resist anymore. All the
attempts I had made to soften the blows went in vain. Every other blow made my
body jump, like I was receiving defibrillation shocks. I could feel the wound
on my head opening again, oozing the blood out once more. At the end, I gave up
on my body and started slipping into unconsciousness.
When the maid saw
my lack of resistance, she turned me around and I felt her hand slipping into
my jeans. She put her hand in between my butt cheeks and whispered,” This won’t
hurt one bit, and once mother does it, you’d be hooked. So, behave.”
Seconds later I heard
sound of bullets being fired. The faint noise of steps throughout the forest
followed. The maid assessed the situation and didn’t deem it to be safe. She
retracted her hand and turned around. Before she left, she spat on the back of
my head. I could feel her thick saliva dripping over my wounds.
I slipped into unconsciousness
moments later.
When I woke up, I was
in staring at a hospital ceiling. Next to me slept another young woman. I had
gained vision in both my eyes now. All I had was a nurse to ring. When I did
so, a doctor with two nurses came rushing next to my bed. the woman next to me
also woke up due to the ruckus.
The doctor asked questions
and in the meantime nurses checked my vitals. After all was done, they left me
with the woman on the bed next to me. She seemed to be eager to talk to me.
I slowly turned to
face her, and looking at her bright gleaming face brought immense pleasure to me.
“Hey, I heard you
saved me from that forest. I thank you. I owe you my life. Please, tell me your
name.”
“My name is Kiyomi.
Kiyomi Anicrow. What is your name?”
Kiyomi, what a
beautiful name.
I open my mouth
and spoke slowly,” My name is…
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